All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
