I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
