Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
