So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize