she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize