operation harelip BJ is a go
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
