I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
