I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
