The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
