So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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