woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
