My sheets look like a crime scene.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize