That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
