Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
