honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
