Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize