He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
