North Korea, Best Korea!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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