Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
