we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
