I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
