My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize