It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
