did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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