I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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