How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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