I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
