if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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