Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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