I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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