how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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