I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
