you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize