imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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