Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize