Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
