So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
