my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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