Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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