Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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