When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
