North Korea, Best Korea!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
