Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
