Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
