can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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