Are we in a gay sports bar?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
