I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
