so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
