i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
