when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
