There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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