we're blogging at a bar
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
