Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize