What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
