come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
