im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
