im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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