where am i from again
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
