I got chris browned last night
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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