Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
