I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
